The Apple Event never fails to get the internet talking, but just to be safe, Apple used the hashtag #AppleEvent, sponsored a custom hashtag emoji and touted a promoted tweet on Twitter this year for more marketing moxie. The annual fall event was livestreamed across AppleTV, iOS devices and on Microsoft’s new browser, Edge, a nice subtle way of wooing Android users to the platform. Recently named the world’s most valuable portfolio, Apple pulled out all of the stops for this year’s announcements—or lack thereof if you’re part of a legion of shunned MacBook professionals in desperate need of an upgrade. So let’s get to it.

iphone 7 apple event

iPhone 7

It was no surprise that the iPhone 7 was officially introduced on Wednesday, with pre-orders available beginning Friday. The 32GB iPhone 7 will retail for $649 (the same starting price as the iPhone 6) and $769 for the 32GB iPhone 7 Plus. Public service announcement: be a decent human and don’t do anything that will shame the progress of mankind.

The iPhone 7 features two rear cameras and live previews of camera shots with a shallow depth of field. Photos taken on the iPhone 7 Plus will be able to achieve a very sharp foreground and blurry background for all those artistic shots of the chicken Caesar salad you’ll surely incessantly snap during lunch. The new phone may look an awful lot like the iPhone 6, but there is one notable difference—the absence of a headphone jack. Keep reading before your heart explodes.

Apple introduced the AirPod wireless headphones that can be paired to the device with the touch of a button. Each iPhone 7 will ship with the wireless AirPods and a Lightning-to-3.5-millimeter headphone jack adapter. If you want the headphones by themselves, they’ll cost you a cool $159 when they become available this October. If that’s still music to your ears, let’s move on to . . .

Nike+ Apple Watches (Source: Apple)
Nike+ Apple Watches (Source: Apple)

Watch Out(side)

The new Apple Watch appears to be the same aesthetically but features built-in GPS and is water-resistant up to 50 meters, which means it will track swim activity, which really means you can be the next Michael Phelps by the 2020 Olympics, or Ryan Lochte if you only have plans to abuse and misuse it.

A strategic partnership with Nike resulted in a special Apple Watch designed for fitness. The Nike+ version is aimed at runners and will “hit the road”—and your bank account—in late October for $369. The first Apple Watch focused heavily on fitness; the Nike+ version includes many health apps as well as calories burned and mileage and step tracking. Compared to previous versions, Apple has added several new features with the athlete in mind including water resistance for swimming, built-in GPS and a brighter display for daytime activities.


Ninten-DO on the Ninten-GO

Super Mario Run is a new game headed to iOS devices this holiday season, starring the world’s most famous plumber—sorry for the snub Thomas Crapper! Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Super Mario Brothers, took to the stage and demonstrated the colorful, one-handed gameplay design, which features multiplayer and the chance to customize your very own Mushroom Kingdom. In addition to Mario’s mushroom-stomping marathon, Pokémon GO will be available for Apple Watch by the end of 2016, allowing players to access game features without having to pull out their phones. What a time to be alive!